S2 E26: Prepping for Parent-Teacher Conferences: What Parents Really Need to Know

Today's topic is one that’s relevant for just about every parent—prepping for parent-teacher conferences. At my school, and many others I know, these conferences are coming up soon, and as a parent, whether this is your first parent-teacher conference, or one of your last, you’re probably feeling a mix of curiosity, excitement, or maybe even a little anxiety. Remember that the teacher probably feels the same way and you're both on the same team. Whether you’re looking forward to hearing all about how your child is doing or you’re a bit nervous about what might come up, don't let this opportunity to connect with your child’s teacher slip away. It's a great moment to really get a full picture of their progress.

So, how do you set yourself up for a positive conference to really get to know everything you need to know? What questions should you ask? Should you just show up and listen? What if the teacher says something that surprises you or sounds negative? What if you haven’t been totally impressed with the teacher so far? All are valid thoughts, and that’s exactly why we’re here today. My goal is to help you feel prepared with some solid questions to ask so you can make the most out of your conference—and walk away with valuable insights on how to support your child’s educational journey.

Shifting Your Mindset: It’s All About Collaboration

First things first—let’s talk mindset. Remember that these conferences are meant to be a collaboration between you and the teacher. Both of you want the same thing: for your child to succeed. While it might be tempting to just sit back, listen, and be agreeable, this is actually your chance to dig deeper and get a real sense of how things are going for your child.

I’d recommend starting by letting the teacher lead the conversation, then depending on what they do or don’t share, dive in with some of these questions.

Question 1: “How is my child doing emotionally and socially?”

This might not be the first thing that comes to mind, but it’s essential. In today’s school environment, how your child feels in class and how they interact with their peers is just as crucial as their academic performance. Grades absolutely matter, but a child's emotional and social well-being sets the foundation for all of their learning.

Ask questions like:

• Does my child have friends in the class?
• Who do they sit with at lunch or play with at recess?
• Is my child demonstrating respectful behaviors toward others?
• Do you see my child as more of a leader or a follower in class?

This will give you insight into why your child might love or dread school each day and can help you gauge if they feel safe, supported, and confident in the classroom. It can also help you know better questions to ask your child when they come home from school, and help you know what you can do to reinforce or correct certain behaviors at home.

Question 2: “What are my child’s strengths and areas for growth?”

This is a great one to really get a full picture. Teachers will often share what your child is doing well, but it’s just as important to hear where they need a little extra support. Ask not only about their academic subjects but also about how they handle challenges. Are they a problem solver? Do they show resilience when things get tough demonstrating a growth mindset?

Knowing their strengths helps you nurture them at home, and understanding their growth areas gives you specific goals to work on together. You’ll want to leave the conference with some ideas on how to help your child improve in areas that might need a bit more attention.

Question 3: “How does my child participate in class?”

Class participation is a great indicator of how engaged your child is with their learning and peers. Are they active in discussions? Do they ask questions? You might find that your child behaves differently in the classroom than at home, and that’s perfectly normal. By asking about participation, you can get a sense of how they learn best and what their classroom personality is like.

Just remember, the answers might surprise you, and that’s okay! It’s all part of getting a broader perspective on your child.

Question 4: “How is my child progressing compared to grade-level expectations, and how do you measure this progress?”

Every school has different ways of measuring progress—whether through tests, projects, or ongoing assessments. Asking about this will help you understand how your child is doing in comparison to their grade-level objectives. If the teacher mentions that your child is behind in certain areas, don’t be afraid to ask about the specific strategies they’re using to help them catch up. And if your child is ahead, ask how they’re being challenged to keep pushing themselves further.

Question 5: “How can I support my child’s learning at home?”

This one is pure gold. Teachers love when parents want to work together to reinforce learning at home. Whether it’s reading more with your child, practicing math in everyday situations, working on fact fluency, or helping them build organizational skills, you want to leave the conference with actionable steps to help support your child.

Bonus Tip: Don’t Forget the Specialists

Remember, your child interacts with more than just their homeroom teacher! If possible, try to meet with any specialists—whether that’s in art, design, PE, music, or even the school counselor. These professionals see a different side of your child and can offer great insights into their strengths and challenges. And if your child is getting extra help in reading or math, it’s definitely worth asking those specialists about the strategies they’re using, so you can reinforce those at home too.

Wrapping It All Up

Conferences can seem a bit intimidating, but with a few good questions in your back pocket, you’ll feel more prepared and confident. Feel free to bring a notebook and take some notes too. In the end, just remember these meetings are an opportunity to work together with your child’s teacher to support their learning and growth, and they give you insight into how you can continue that support at home.

Also, some of you may have parent-student-teacher conferences. In this case, let your child lead as much as possible. Support your child, and be sure to continue to ask questions, you just might change your tone a bit.

I hope these questions help you get the most out of your next conference and leave you feeling empowered to help your child thrive both academically and emotionally.

If you found this helpful, I’d love for you to join my Raising Thinkers Community! It’s free, and it’s packed with resources to help you support your child’s learning. And if you’re ready to dive even deeper, check out my subscription service, Raising Mathematicians, for everything you need to help you help your child learn math in the way it's being taught at school.

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